MAGIC Camp Slide Show

Our hostess-with-the-mostess Laurie emailed this slide show to Nina & I last night.  I could gush about it, but you've all probably heard enough of that.  I don't think I've written here yet about the two crystal grids I am installing in the house, but you'll see me placing the bottom center crystal.  I'm so happy Laurie caught photos of me doing that.

You'll also see one of the rare photos of Nina & I together, hanging out of the window towards the end of the show  (Laurie is with us, too - yay!) Somehow as inseparable as we were, we didn't have anyone snap our photo.  We probably never really thought we'd be separated.  : )

http://youtu.be/uCijtQqIHOs

Conditioning, Change & Fear

We are conditioned as children to follow the pack.  We are rewarded for being obedient, for not rocking the boat, for falling in line - for conforming.  Doing what we are told is learned to be good behavior.   As children, I recognize that has value.  Following instruction is often how we learn.  But at what age should independent thought be encouraged?  When do we start learning that being different is okay, and in many cases a good thing?  In my experience, some children learn that it's okay to be different only as a result of conflict.  A child is teased, and the parent tells the child, "it's okay to be different.  You'll appreciate that when you are older."  But often being "different" isn't rewarded on its own.  Why can't you be like Johnny?  Look at Johnny.

As teenagers and adults, we are conditioned by society about what success means.  In the United States, it's well advertised the owning a piece of America is "the American dream."  The house with the white picket fence.  The 2.5 children.  The two cars in the garage.  For me, (and I think for many) that ideal was held out as having "made it."  But is it really?  Is that why everyone is soooo happy?  That ideal isn't as drummed in as it used to be, but I think it's still the default definition of success.

 

I've had three conversations in the last 24 hours that have touched on the topic of societal conditioning, change, and fear.  I didn't set out to have the conversations, they just sort of happened as we talked about our different life paths.

One person has change happening to them and they are not necessarily participating, but they are learning to cope with it.

One is actively seeking change - from a place of comfort.

Another is always changing, always evolving - it's her way of life.  She looks for it daily.

And there's me - I've been actively pursuing big change for over a year now.  (I'm always surprised when I quantify the time that it's been that long.)  I often laugh and say that I love change - so long as it is my idea!   (And maybe that isn't funny... hmmm)

I believe that the change that we do not ask for - that change that is the hardest change - often turns out to be the best change for us. I've witnessed it several times with (my life and) friends.  We undergo the change - a job transition, a relationship reframe, a lifestyle adjustment - because we are forced.  Often it's a change we wanted to make, but we didn't, because we were afraid.  We're afraid to change jobs.  We're afraid to take a relationship to the next level or to end it all together.  We are afraid to radically change our lifestyle.  I believe that if we don't pay attention to the signs gently urging us to change, then change sometimes slaps us upside the head and our hand is forced.  Then the change is no longer voluntary - it's become mandatory, thrust upon us.  That type of change brings fear.  Change is hard.

This last year I've noticed that the change I am choosing makes some people uncomfortable. I'm choosing to live with less.  I'm voluntarily leaving the lifestyle that is in part the very definition of success in this country in favor of a less conventional lifestyle.   Some people that I talk with about my choices are clearly threatened:  If we are making the same choices, then we are validating each other.  "We are successful."

When one person starts to make different choices, we are are no longer, by our decisions, validating the other person's choices.  A dichotomy is revealed, and fear may creep in. Are we still both successful?  Is one person more successful than the other?  Are we both still okay?  And sometimes, then, judgment follows.  "How will that work?"  "How can you be happy?"  "I could never do that."  "Are you sure?"  "I'm not sure you should do that."

I am voluntarily making big changes.  I am comfortable telling you that even though the changes are voluntary, they are not entirely without fear.  I'm doing things I've never done before.  I'm planning to live in a way that I have never lived before.  Of course there is fear; it's very unconventional.  But there is also challenge.  And anticipation.  And excitement.   And so yes, I am very sure of what I am doing -- but admittedly some days it is outside my comfort zone.  I'm okay with that.  All of those cliches - "go out on the limb - that's where the fruit is."  "The magic happens outside your comfort zone."  "Push the envelope," I'm finding them to be true.  And satisfying. 

I have a vivid memory of being in college, living in a dorm on campus, and my life being routine.  I could tell you where I would be, and what I would be doing, at any given time of any day of the week for the next nine months.  I couldn't STAND it.  It drove me mad.  But I accepted it as what my life was then:  I was a student.  With a job.  Without a car.  With homework.  My purpose at college was to learn, and to go to work and earn a paycheck to pay for that college.  It was boring.  But:  it's what was expected of me.  It's what had to be done.  Put my head down, keep my nose to the grindstone, and  in four years I would be rewarded with a piece of paper that would surely entitle me to all the adult successes that I wanted.  Whaaaaat?  I saw the pattern repeated when I was married and living in Fort Worth.  House with a mortgage.  9-5 job.  Rinse, repeat.  It made me antsy.  I was bored.  It was so ... mundane.  I wasn't savvy enough to identify what about it was dissatisfying to me.

When I traveled to London for work, I was in the car with a Brit and he said, "You Americans.  You're doing it all wrong.  You work and work and work and then your reward is two weeks off once a year.  And then you go work the next 50 weeks and do it again."  At the time it made me defensive.  That's just what we do.  It's the American way.  We're Americans.  This is how our lives are structured.  It's fine.  Right?  I mean, that's how nearly everyone I know lives.  It's just how it is.  Right?

No.  Actually no, it isn't.  Once you start paying attention there are people everywhere who are doing unconventional things.  Friends of friends are traveling the world, teaching in countries totally new to them.  They are living on house boats.  They are teaching aids prevention in Africa.  They are buying one way cruise tickets across the pond and following their dream of attending Oxford.  I know all those people.  They are living.   They are taking risks. This week, someone very dear to me said, "BA, you are kind of eccentric, but I like you.  I don't have anyone else like you in my life."  These days, THAT is my version of success.  

The past few days as I've been criss-crossing the metroplex in my car, I've looked at the cardboard box on my passenger seat.  Inside is a measuring tape.  A book on carpentry.  A sample tube of Penofin.   My construction plans.  A notebook of lists and telephone notes.  A pair of gloves.  The keys to my new house. My water bottle.  A ziploc of walnuts.  On the floor board are two one-gallon cans of Penofin, sloshing about as I turn corners.  On my feet?  My work boots.  And I realize:  I'm in the thick of it.  This is it - I am making this happen.  Right now.  Today.  I'm one of those people.

Do you know how when you wake up in the morning, sometimes there are remnants of your dreams in your mind?  You can just barely grasp them and the emotions that go along with them?  This morning as I stumbled to the kitchen to get the dog's leash, I had that.  I had wisps of happy - wisps of an amazing feeling of happiness, of an exhilarating experience.  And then I realized:  That wasn't a dream.  I had spent part of yesterday in my new house.  It is real.  I smiled.  Wow.  First time I've ever had THAT happen.

I don't know what I'll be doing in six months.  I don't know where I'll be doing it.  I'll be living in my tiny house, and ....?  I don't know. I have a lot of unanswered questions.  I have a LOT of wild cards in my hand right now.  I'm actually really excited about that - about the unknown.  I guess it turns out that part of me likes the unknown.

This is not the blog post I sat down to write today, by the way.  But when I sat down to type, this is what happened.  I feel like I'm changing today... it's weird.  It's all good, but it's weird.

Tiny House on the Move!!

UPDATE 5:20 PM

The house delivery looks like it is going to be in the morning instead.  Sigh.


UPDATE:

I received this text from the driver about an hour ago:

Sorry for the delay. I thought you might like this for an answer:

 My house will be here TONIGHT!!!  I'm having a house arrival party - obviously short notice, but if you want to come, email me and I'll keep you updated with details.  There will be champagne...
______________________________________________________________________________

My house is officially on its way from LA to Dallas!  A transport company picked it up this evening from Daniel's school and it slipped away into the darkness...

Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?  And she's wearing a new front door, courtesy of the best finish carpenter I know, Daniel Bell of Daniel Bell Construction.

I really wanted to get banners on the house prior to travel, but I just didn't get my act together.  In the alternative, if you see this house traveling along I-10 (or a similar route) in the next 2-3 days, please leave a comment here with the date/time and location.

And please send this post to anyone you know who may be along that route - let's try to track it's progress!

For those of you who are new to this blog, here is what my Four Lights tiny house will look like when it's completed:

You may see interior photos here:  The Gifford

I am nervous - that's my baby, being towed across the country....

Some Major Fun

Sometimes when you roll over in the middle of the night and are wide awake, and you grab your phone to see if anything is happening in the world, you find something fun in your InBox.   In the wee hours this morning, I found received this entertaining/incriminating/soul nourishing bit of footage from Jay Shafer: You Should Have Been There

I want a do over.  That was the.  best.  week.

Maybe we should crash the L.A. workshop this weekend.  Bwaaa ha ha ha ha

You can't see her behind the camera, but let's give a big round of applause and thanks to Gabriela Sosa - she followed us around for 5 days - and we were not a camera savvy group!  Our heads got in the way, we talked over each other, we said all the things that made us look really smart when we were outside mic distance... I'm sure filming us was like herding cats.  Plus it was cold.  And she looked like a suicide bomber with the equipment and battery packs strapped to her.  We told her to be sure to steer clear of airports....

She did, however, get the spend the night in here every night:

Packed and ready to go home.

We were all insanely jealous.

 And, this post wouldn't be complete without a shout out to Nina & Judy:

(And we know our gang sign...)

More workshop opportunities:  Four Lights Workshops

A Place for Construction!!

I'm having to back track to catch you up. I actually wrote this on March 7th, but I just couldn't get it into post-able form. 

* * *

The workshop I attended was put on by Jay Shafer of Four Lights Tiny House Company.  One of Jay's sidekicks in the workshop was Daniel Bell, who is a high school construction teacher at Thousand Oaks High School outside of Los Angeles.  Daniel also has his own construction company.  (He and his students had built all these awesome 3-D demonstrative boards about sections of the house that we used in the classroom portion of the workshop - they were so cool!)

 
Daniel mentioned during a lunch at the workshop that he was looking for someone who is ready to build who would allow he and his students to build their house.  I put down my fork and looked at him and said, "Me.  That's me."  He said he was offering it to everyone in our (workshop) class and that he was interested.  Conversation moved on.  My mind, however, was spinning. 

Daniel on the workshop job site...

Fast forward a few weeks after the workshop.  I had given Daniel a couple of weeks to get settled back into reality (and I was, too) before I started pestering him.  "Daniel!  Let's talk!  Your class, my house...."  We connected by phone tonight.

He told me that his ultimate goal is to create a self sustaining construction program at his school.  (He has done that at another school.)  The kids really want to build a full scale project - they are more invested in it that way.  He also really wants them to interact the the OWNER (holy buckets that's ME!!!)  He would like me to come out a few weekends and meet them and also Skype regularly.  I believe he said there are 6 high school students, and they are so excited that they have offered to work during the summer!  Daniel isn't so sure HE wants to do that... ha ha.. you can't blame him for wanting the Summer off!  These sound like some seriously AMAZING and TALENTED students.

So then there is another piece - my trailer.  One of our Firm's clients, James*, is a steel erector.  He has offered to build a custom trailer for me.  I know it would be amazing quality, custom and cheaper than I can buy.  But - Dallas is a long ways from LA and I'd have to GET the trailer to LA.  

But as things tend to work out, there is another piece:  Daniel thinks he is going to Santa Fe over Spring Break (end of April), and has offered that if I can get the trailer to Santa Fe, he would take it from Santa Fe to LA.  Hmmm...  I mean, I could  buy a trailer on the West Coast, but I sooo love the idea of James' piece in this puzzle.  To decide, there were more questions to be answered:  How fast can James fabricate?  How much will he charge me?  How much would it cost to get it to LA - either being towed or put on a truck?

As far as the class building my house we will have some type of written agreement between probably me and the school, you know, so I don't end up with a go kart instead of a house. (!!)  For materials purchasing, we discussed a few options, but  I'll probably open an account in LA that Daniel will be a signator on - and he will let me know what purchases he is going to make prior to making them.  But these are uncharted waters, so we are still figuring out logistics.

He and his class will at least get the house weather tight.  I was worried that me wanting to be IN the house in December was going to be tight scheduling but he doesn't think so.  He thinks he can have it dried in by the end of this school year.  And if I choose to let them do the inside, he thinks he can easily have it done for me by December.  

So...!  More decisions to make.  I had initially said that I wanted to drive every nail myself - but this is such an amazing opportunity for the students - and Daniel is very persnickety about his work product so no worries there - and then I really want to be in my house when my apartment lease is up in December.  Realistically I must admit that finding the space to do construction (James graciously offered his shop but it's an hour away... that would be too much driving to say, work on it after work...) and the time to do the construction while holding down a regular job (yeah yeah yeah all of you who know me are laughing at that characterization!) would be challenging to say the least.  So I think - say YES and say THANK YOU and it's mutually beneficial to so many people - and in time I can build a second one while living in the first one.  And then I can pound every nail if I choose to.  But for now?  I am going to let it go and be apart of this great experience. And --

What another amazing chapter to my story!  FIRST being the FIRST to register for the FIRST Four Lights Tiny House Company.  Then the workshop I attended was the FIRST workshop that Daniel helped out with.  And then to have my FIRST tiny house be the FIRST house that Daniel's class builds... Pretty cool stuff.  SO.  EXCITED.

I am meeting with James about the trailer early next week, and then Daniel and I will have another conversation.

Disclaimer:  Any facts that I have misstated are my fault - my poor memory - hopefully if I've made errors Daniel will correct me... Thanks...

* There will be an entire post dedicated to James in the not so distant future.  He started out skeptical of this whole adventure, and now he's one of my biggest cheerleaders!  His mind-set has really changed and he has some great ideas he is contributing!  : )  Happy.