Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Anxiety II

With my house inspection today, and the option period on the house contract ending on Friday, it's time for me to figure out where I am moving to!  I called some places close to my neighborhood a few days ago -- some old old complexes that I've always thought were charming - but they don't take dogs.  But one of the leasing women I spoke with - Sherry - we totally bonded on the phone!  I ended up telling her about my tiny house plans... it felt like we were fast friends. She said she has a few acres of land outside of Dallas and that she is thinking of retiring soon - and was intrigued with the tiny house idea.  I gave her my blog address to read about what I'm doing.  I also asked her to keep me in mind in case she knew of any garage apartments, or other tiny spaces for rent - she said she would.  Having been in the area for a while she seemed like she might know "people."

Yesterday afternoon my friend Kelley and I went to 4-5 apartment complexes, so grateful she could go since it was way more fun than going alone!  I didn't find anything that I just had to have, and frankly they were more expensive than I expected.  I haven't leased an apartment in probably 10 years, so gosh, shocking that they are more than I expected! (That's a joke...)   Not outrageous, and still manageable, but ...nonetheless more than I thought.  

Really what I want (I think) is a garage apartment - although admittedly I've never been in one - but it seems like it would be ideal.  I wouldn't have any shared walls, it would be quiet...and odds are good for some type of yard for the dog.  But I know those are difficult to come by - I think you pretty much have to either know someone, or be there when the sign in stuck in the yard and be prepared to write a check on the spot...

I ducked into a class at Apple last night - and then home for a bite and to give the dog some attention.  Sacked out at a reasonable hour... until... 1:20 a.m.  BING!  Eyes wide open.  Positive it was nearly time to get up.  Um, no.

I proceeded to work myself into a lather of worry until 4 a.m.  The "dark times" as Tom and I call them - those wee hours of the morning when it's sooo dark and sooo quiet.  The wind was just whipping around the house, and in between gusts of wind I heard the owls calling in the night.  I worried about the house inspection.  I worried about the dog being kenneled in the guest room during the inspection.  I worried about putting Greta dog back into apartment living, and how much she might bark.  We lived in an apartment when she was a tiny puppy and thus began the ritual of her laying on the bathroom rug while I showered -- left loose in the apartment she would invariably see something threatening out the window  to bark at and me, in the shower, unable to quiet her.  Today she's 12, and she still loves to come and lay on the rug when I shower.  : )  Rationally I don't really believe she would be a chronic barker.  She sleeps all stinkin' day...

Anyway, I had major anxiety under the cover of darkness.  It doesn't matter if it was rational or not... After surfing the web for apartments, catching up on news, and taking my turns on Words with Friends and I was STILL wide awake, I prayed for peace of mind and for a solution.  The last I looked at the clock it was 4:04 a.m.

Greta of course slept through all of that - so she awakened me at our usual hour of 7.  Painful.  And then this morning while I was getting ready for the inspection, my phone chimed that I had a voice mail.  It didn't ring...some glitch in the system.  And who was it?  Sherry!  With the names and phone numbers of two people with rental units available - and that I should use her name.  I started crying - what had I done to deserve her kindness?   

I called the numbers right away.  One indeed is a garage apartment that is walking distance to Lydia's and walking distance to Wholefoods (and next door the Sherry!)  A great price, and all bills paid, and the landlord doesn't mind a big dog.  It's still under construction, but she hopes to have it ready to see on Saturday.  Downside?  No central heat and air - a space heater and a window unit.  I still want to see it.  I can do anything for a year or less...

The other one is a 1/1 (not sure if it is a duplex, or what) also nearby.  I'm going to see that one today!  They also accept pets.

I guess some anxiety is pretty normal with the big changes I am doing.  Last night was only my second bout of it which I think is pretty darned impressive, and by morning, my prayers were answered with connections from a stranger.  (I can't even call that the Power of Who!  LOL)  Because this process thus far has been nearly anxiety free, and I have no remorse, when I do experience some worry it hits me pretty hard.  I love my plan.  I believe in my plan - I think it's solid - but when it's dark and cold, and you can't sleep, it's easy for negativity to creep in.  I can still "see" myself in my rental place, making my plans.  I still "see" myself climbing up into my cozy sleeping loft, after a day of sharing my excitement about living small with my community.  I'm on track!

This afternoon Kelley and I will look at the 1/1 and do a drive by on the garage apartment.  And I think we'll hit a thrift store or two - I threw down the gauntlet of challenge to my family for an Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest for Christmas Eve... my sister Kate called today and said she already bought her sweater and a sweater for her husband!  I need to get on the stick!

Tonight?  Christy is coming over with some wine and we are going to catch up - we haven't sat and chatted in  f o r e v e r!  I think I'll build a fire in the fireplace.  Ahhhhh.  Everything is going to work out just the way it is supposed to.

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