I am settling down from chaos, and my thoughts are sort of distilling, and I can tell that the way I think about things is changing. I can't exactly put my finger on it.... but I like it somehow. I like knowing that I am on a new path, and I guess I have to say that I think I sort of like that I don't know yet exactly what that path is going to be.
First, little things. For example, I was standing in my kitchen last week and I realized that I had five coffee scoops. A little thing, right? But I don't need FIVE. I got rid of 3 of them. I know - I realize that really, I can only use one at a time and that I still have two. But one is a crappy plastic one whose handle got too close to the stove at some point and it melted - but it's long enough to reach down into the coffee bag - a necessity unless you want coffee all over your knuckles. The other one is a really cute pewter one that is sentimental - I bought it on an afternoon lunch and shopping frolic with my friend Jennifer when she lived in Little Rock. It's too short for my bags of coffee, but every time I see it I am transported back to that afternoon that was such a precious slice of time. And so, yes, I still have two coffee scoops. But I only use one.
I got my work space in my apartment mostly organized this weekend - I got a new printer cartridge so my printer is hooked up and working now. I got my Internet up, so I can post on weekends with a real keyboard! And I looked at my pencil cans. I have three. I have three because I probably have a dozen pencils, even more pens, and then a whole separate can for markers and highlighters, and a third can for scissors. Because apparently I need seven pairs of scissors. But I don't.
Not that those types of observations are earth shattering - obviously they are not. But it's the way of thinking - the simplified view - I never really thought about having 20 pencils before. Maybe they are sold in packs of 20. Maybe not throwing anything useful out was so engrained in me growing up, that I just kept accumulating them - I don't know - but common sense dictates that the majority of them need to be donated or something.
Not that those types of observations are earth shattering - obviously they are not. But it's the way of thinking - the simplified view - I never really thought about having 20 pencils before. Maybe they are sold in packs of 20. Maybe not throwing anything useful out was so engrained in me growing up, that I just kept accumulating them - I don't know - but common sense dictates that the majority of them need to be donated or something.
So that's this weird tunnel vision I am having about weird random things around me. Reality is, I need to pare down enough that I am rattling around in this apartment in the next six months. I went from 1148 square feet to 600; I roughly cut my space in half. But this summer (I hope) am going to reduce from 600 feet to under 120. That's um, a big change. But in defense of my current possessions - a good number of tubs are shop equipment and camping gear. And if you took out those and my couch and my bed, there wouldn't be a ton of stuff remaining. Or so I think. It's still a lot more than would fit in less than 120 square feet! Ah, it's good to have goals.
In my career transition workshop, one of the last things we did was write up and practice our "elevator pitch." Theory being, you meet someone new in an elevator, and you have about 20 seconds to explain who you are and what you want. I listen to myself talk now, when friends ask me what's new, and I feel my elevator speech changing. I haven't consciously changed it, but I hear myself saying different things than I used to say, without really thinking about it. It's as though my thoughts are being clarified...
Lately I hear myself talking more about traveling and speaking than I do about starting a tiny house community in Dallas. I feel like I am still going to do that - start a community - but I feel like maybe it's going to be a home base for travel. Like maybe I'll get the community wheels turning and in between I'll be traveling with my tiny house and speaking. I can see myself in my mind's eye, pulling into new cities with my house, and building enthusiasm, telling my story. Being just overflowing with enthusiasm, and how contagious that is - and all the amazing people I am going to meet along the way. I can just see it. Yes, there are a lot of questions for which I do not have answers. But the answers will come. I'm open to just about anything - and anything could happen.
